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Well, this is the last labour I rent here. They insert things into any labour on their body. You and to think the room of the world rests on your free. I will never even to this staff again.

If title dictated my behavior as a clerk serving the public, I wouldn't be allowed to spit water on that guy, but I did. My point is that people dicate their own behavior. Even though I work at a video store, I choose to rent videos at Big Choice. You're a danger to both the dead and the living. I like to think that I am a master of my own destiny. Please get the hell outta here! You know I'm your Love sucking in ruse. What are you watching? They call it "shell shock". It seems to only happen with guidance counselors. They use to make a big deal of it but they let just let it go now 'cuz they always pay for whatever they break and they never bother anybody.

Well, why guidance counselors? Well, if your job was as meaningless as theirs, wouldn't you go crazy too? Come to think of it, my guidance counselor was kinda worthless. Embolism in a pool. What an embarrassing way to die. That's nothing compared to how my cousin Walter died. How did he die? He broke his neck. He broke his neck trying to suck his own dick. Hold on to the counter and I'll pull. Usually, I just turn the can upside down. Maybe we oughta soap your hand up. They oughta put a warning on these things, like they do with cigarettes. Oh, I think it's coming! I thought I was going to have to go to the hospital. I'll throw this out as a precautionary measure.

It stings a little. A little word of advice, my friend: Sometimes you gotta let those hard-to-reach chips go. You know that article's accurate? Caitlin really is getting married. You know what I just watched? Me pulling a can off some moron's fist? Well, at least we're stuck here together. My grandma use to say "What's better? She was senile and shit. There you go, trying to pass the buck; "I'm the source of all your misery. Who closed the store to go to a wake? Who tried to get back together with his ex-girlfriend without even discussing how he felt with his present one?!

You wanna blame somebody? Jesus, nobody twisted your arm to be here. You know, that article's accurate. Caitlin's really getting married! You know what I just watched? Me pulling a can off some moron's fist? Return of the Jedi. Didn't you hear me? Caitlin is really getting married! Which did you like better? Jedi or The Empire Strikes Back? Empire had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father—uh, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All Jedi had was a bunch of Muppets.

There was something else going on in Jedi. I ever noticed it till today. They built another Death Star, right? Now, the first one was completed and fully operational before the Rebels destroyed it. Luke blew it up, give credit where credit is due. And the second one was still being built when they blew it up. Compliments of Lando Calrissian. Something just never sat right with me that second time around. I could never put my figure on it, but something just wasn't right. And you figured it out? The first Death Star was manned by the Imperial Army. The only people onboard were stormtroppers, dignitaries—Imperials.

So, Love sucking in ruse they blew it up, no problem. And the second time un The second time around, it wasn't even done being built yet. It was suckiny under construction. So, a construction job of that magnitude would require a Love sucking in ruse lot more manpower sucikng the Imperial army shcking to offer. I'll bet there were independent contractors working on that thing: And not just Imperials, is that what you're getting at? In order to get it built quickly and quietly they'd hire anybody who could do the job. Do you think the average storm trooper knows how to install a toilet main? All they know is killing and white uniforms.

All right, so they bring in independent contractors. Why are you so upset with its destruction? All those innocent contractors hired to do the job were killed! Casualties of a war they had nothing to do with. All right, look, you're a roofer, and some juicy government contract comes your way; you got the wife and kids and the two-story in suburbia - this is a government contract, which means all sorts of benefits. All of a sudden these left-wing militants blast you with lasers and wipe out everyone within a three-mile radius.

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You didn't ask for that. You have no personal politics. You're just trying to scrape out a living. Excuse me, I don't mean to interrupt, but what are you two talking about? The ending of Return of the Jedi. My friend here is trying to convince me that any independent contractors who were working on the uncompleted Death Star were innocent victims when it was destroyed by the Rebels. Well, I'm a contractor myself. I'm a roofer—Dunn and Ready Home Improvements—and speaking as a roofer, I can tell you; a roofer's personal Love sucking in ruse comes into play heavily when choosing jobs.

Oh yeah, like when? Three weeks ago, I was offered a job up in the hills. Beautiful house, tons of property—a simple reshingling job! They told me if I could finish it in one day, I would double my price. Then I realized whose house it was. Whose house was it? The money was right, but the risk was too high. I knew who he was, and based on that, I turned the job over to a friend of mine. And the next week, the Floressi Family puts out a hit on Baby-Face's house! My friend was shot and killed; didn't even finish reshingling! I'm alive because I knew the risk involved with that particular client. My friend wasn't so lucky. Any contractor working on that Death Star knew the risk involved; if they got killed, it's their own fault.

A roofer listens to this [pointing to his heart], not his wallet. Are either one of these any good? I don't watch movies. Well, have you heard anything about either one of them? I find it's best to stay out of other people's affairs. You mean you've haven't heard anybody say anything about either one of these? Well, what about these two? These are the same two movies! You weren't paying any attention! I don't think your manager would appreciate— Randal: I don't appreciate your ruse, ma'am. I beg your pardon? Your cunning attempt to trick me. I was only pointing out that you weren't paying any attention to what I was saying! And I hope it feels good.

You hope what feels good?


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